Knocked Up and Not Feeling Well

Derek and I watched "Knocked Up" last night, sort of by accident. He was handling a few gastro-intestinal issues and left me coughing up a lung and flipping channels in the living room. I ran across this movie and first started watching it just to see if it would live up to my negative impression. The movie exceeded my first impression, actually and turned out to be not only full of baudy humor, but also one that included a decent plot and a touching message.

I mentioned Derek's gastro-intestinal issues and my coughing fits (WebMD has convinced me that it is Consumption) only because there is a scene in the movie that was very similar to our boring married life. A couple is doing their nightly routine getting ready for bed, brushing teeth, washing faces and the husband asks his wife if she feels like having sex. She mentions that she has been constipated, but then says "we can do it if you still want to." This scene is the kind of thing that they should show newly engaged couples with a warning--THIS IS WHAT YOUR LIFE IS GOING TO BE LIKE. No more nudges or kisses on the neck to get you in the mood for having sex. Just constipation and a question, no romance.

This is a reminder to myself that I should not take even the little things for granted. It was not long ago that there was no one being kept awake by their concern about my cough, no one to pass me a tissue, no one to run to the store for medicine for me and no one to ask me if I wanted to do it.

Procrastination and Insomnia

So, usually my titles are random, but I believe that these two terms are inter-related. I am currently taking two more classes at the undergraduate level to fulfill requirements for my Bachelor's degree in Literature at ASU. Still not enrolled at ASU and still telling people that I will be in a couple of semesters. Even I am at the "I'll believe it when I see it" stage in this ongoing and seemingly endless dialogue, but that's a different topic for a different day. Today, I am reporting that I had a homework assignment due last night. It was nothing major, just a typical read a chapter, read an article, complete some minor assignments at the end and write a thoughtful paragraph about the chapter that enhances my learning. Whatever. I did not do any work for this class all week long and feigned the excuse of being sick...it was pathetic even for me. So, I started the coursework at 10:00 p.m. and submitted the assignment right on the button of midnight. I am such a procrastinator, and I do what most procrastinators I know do and convince myself that "I do better work under a deadline." I just don't like the feeling of pushing myself that way and each time I do it, I tell myself that I won't do it next time, but even as I write this I don't believe that. I wonder what can break the cycle of procrastination for me. What is blocking that break through?

Insomnia. So, once I was finished with my homework, I tried to calm my mind and told myself that I would watch a few mintues of TV to "wind down" (I am not good at transitioning to sleep) before trying to go to bed. This seemed to make me weary, so I settled into bed beside Derek who was already a-snore and tried to put myself to sleep. Of course, I woke him with my coughing, tossing and turning. After what felt like at least a half an hour of this nonsense, I got up, took my pillows and headed back for the couch. But, even here I couldn't sleep. I did the dishes and tried to wind down again by watching a boring movie. The last time I remember the hour on the clock it was after 3:00 a.m. Derek woke me at 5:45 a.m. before he got into the shower and helped me back to bed, where I was able to rest until my alarm at 6:45 a.m. Did I create this pattern? What did I do to myself to create my insomnia. I didn't drink Caffeine late at night. I didn't eat (which surprises me as much as it does you). How can I stop the insomnia?

Sick as a Dog and Science Project

I had big intentions for this weekend. It is not often that Derek and I have two days in a row that are not filled with work, school, kids and other obligations and commitments. I know this is true for almost everyone, but it seems with the added restrictions that our school schedules put on things that we do not have a lot of time for one another. Making time for each other is so important and so much more important in a relatively new relationship. So, I had planned that we would spend time together, possibly make one of those semi-spontaneous trips that we have been known to do. If not, at least we would go to dinner and the movies.

Instead...I was an "incubus of virial plague" as Miranda Priestly would say. I quote the dragon lady because while I was home sick all weekend, "The Devil Wears Prada" was running on HBO in what appeared to be a "Devil" marathon. I'll admit I watched it at least three times. I was struck on Saturday night with the common cold. My only question is, if it is so "common" why is it so severe. I couldn't breath. I was coughing insessently. I had a stuffy nose. I was achy and didn't feel like doing anything. I felt so bad and I felt bad for feeling bad. I kept apologizing to Derek all weekend as he was bringing me Kleenex, medicine and checking my forehead for a temperature each time I would ask "do I have a fever?" He even went as far as going to the store twice in one day because I was looking for a special kind of Vick's Vapor Rub that I had seen on a commercial a while ago. It is a lotion instead of the gooey petroleum jelly kind. He didn't find it, but did find the petroleum jelly and rubbed it on the bottoms of my feet. (It is something I read in one of those forwarded e-mails and as far as I can tell it was no miracle cure!) I am still sick, but I will survive.

So, the Science Project. At 4:30 p.m. on Monday night we receive a telephone call from Micaela's mom. She has to go to work, Micaela's step dad is sick and Micaela just told them that she has a science project due tomorrow that she hasn't started, does not have the supplies for and no one is available to help her. Derek hangs up with her and tells me that he plans to go pick up Micaela, bring her back to our house where she can do her science project and spend the night. This frustrates me. Micaela is bailed out each time she puts herself in this situation. In my view, she should suffer a few consequences for her choices, and hopefully with a few of this consequences, even though they may cause displeasure for her, she will choose differently the next time. Even if she doesn't choose differently, at least she will learn that there are consequences for her actions, rather than the lesson that there will always be someone to bail you out when you are in trouble. I get that our children should know that they can count on us, but I also believe that they shouldn't take that for granted. I feared as Derek drove away to pick her up that she would feel as if she were being rewarded for doing her project late: an extra visit with Daddy and Kerie, alone, without the other four children, three adults and three dogs that are packed out of necessity into her other home. It turns out, I was right. While we were working on her project late into the evening she actually said to me that she was kinda glad that her she waited to the last minute to do her project because she was having fun. This reinforced my frustration, but we were not in a position to really address it at that moment, except to say that doing her homework while being rushed and under the gun was not a reward, it does have consequences and we will talk more about what those will be this weekend when we are scheduled to have her for a visit. Last night, it was all business. Homework, dinner, shower, pack lunch, brush teeth, go to bed. I just want her to learn this lesson now rather than later.

I am proud of my husband...

I know it is difficult being a parent, but I have experienced how difficult it is to only be able to parent children part of the time. See, some people say that when there is a divorce that there are part-time parents. This morning, as I write this, I began thinking that no parent ever ceases to be a parent. Once you are, you are. It is the opportunities for parenting that become limited by parenting plans and schedules. So, parenting is done by nightly phone calls, weekly visits, every other weekend and holidays.

I am proud of my husband for his growth and maturity as a father. Last night, he was having a conversation with our eleven year old about his schooling. He mentioned that a requirement of his Bachelor's of Science in Nursing Program was a clinical lab requirement for one day a week for the next several weeks and that his options were to work with the homeless, HIV and AIDS patients or low income families. I was evesdropping on his conversation when I heard him respond to her that his first option would be to work with the homeless. By his response, I understood that she was offened by this idea and said something like "ewwww, you don't want to work with the homeless. They will steal your stuff." He calmly said to her, "okay, let's explore that. Why would the homeless steal my stuff? What would they steal from me? By saying that, what are you doing?" He used the opportunity that presented itself during their conversation to teach her a lesson about generalizations and stereotyping. He said "girls can't play sports." She understood that her comments were not necessarily true about an entire group of people and that she had been unfair when she made assumptions about the people for whom Derek would be providing care. He went on to explain that most of the people that would be coming into the clinic couldn't care less about material possessions, because they are looking for medical attention, a drink of cold water, clean clothes and a place to wash their hands and face.

They talked about how people who are homeless are not even having their basic needs met. I was so proud that they had a really heart-felt discussion about people in need. Derek told Micaela that the reason he went into nursing was because of his desire to help people. He said that of course he wants to be able to earn money to support our family, but the reason he is working so hard in school is so that he can eventually help more people and possibly open a clinic like the one at which he will be volunteering. By the end of their conversation, I was beaming with pride.

Splish Splash....and a coupon!

So, it is official. We are heading to The Arizona Grande Resort (formerly The Pointe at South Mountain) for Fourth of July weekend. Derek and I booked it yesterday evening and even found a smokin' coupon. Tip of the day, thanks to Jean Chatskey (sp?) from The Today Show, before you purchase something online, do a quick Google search for a coupon. I have been really lucky with these and almost always find a coupon to apply to my online purchase. I am really excited about this mini-vacation. Now, we just need to make plans for Memorial Day Weekend! We may actually make it through the summer without suffering too much.

Summertime plans

So, Derek really wants to take the kids to Disneyland Fourth of July Weekend. For anyone who has never been to Disneyland on a major holiday, let me clue you in, even Disney admits that Fourth of July weekend is one of their two busiest days of the year...the other New Year's Eve and I have been there for both. I love Disney, don't get me wrong, but holiday weekends bring out the rookies....and they are rude. The more crowded the park, the more tense things get for everyone and in July, the tempers are up with the temperature. I have been pushed, shoved, stomped on, threatened and verbally assaulted on holiday weekends at Disney. So, I don't want to go back. My loving husband finally relented and said that he could probably deal with the heat and the crowds, but he couldn't deal with me trying to deal with the heat and the crowds. Thank goodness. We can go to Disney anytime and we will. Just not on a holiday weekend.

My thought for Fourth of July weekend is to either escape the heat and take the kids to Sedona where they can play in a resort pool and maybe explore a little OR go to a local resort, where there are currently great deals for the holiday weekend. One option is the water park at the former Pointe South Mountain Resort. Rooms are surprisingly affordable. With no pool at home, this sounds like a viable option for me. The room is reasonably priced and looks more on the luxurious side than the affordable side, which is good. I think there is a "kids eat free" program, which would be nice and the water park fees are included in the room rate. Check out this link to the Arizona Grand Resort http://www.arizonagrandresort.com/. See what I mean. It looks like a lot of fun. My thought is we c ould hang out on the south-eastern side of town, go to the waterpark and maybe even go to the IMAX at Arizona Mills.

Root Canals and Disneyland

There are some things that I have been checking off of my lists of things to do recently. I don't know about the rest of you, but I have several "to do lists." The first is the daily to do list of things that I know can be easily accomplished and/or must be done in order for life to continue moving smoothly. One step up from that is the list of things that should be done as soon as resources like time and money permit them being done. The final list is the I would like to get this thing done, but life will not come to a screeching halt if it doesn't happen. This brings me to my root canal. It falls in the middle category. I have a tooth in which I have had mild to severe pain in for, oh, the past nine months or so. But, I put off having it taken care of first because of the cost, then because of the wedding...you know the story. There is always something keeping you from completing a task like a root canal. So, yesterday I finally went in for the appointment to have this tooth fixed. While the dentist was scraping, poking, prodding and digging out the composite from my previous root canal, I spent a lot of time at Disneyland. I know it is the happiest place on earth, but I guess it is also my happy place. In moments when I am frightened, uncomfortable, nervous, claustrophobic, or held captive (in this case by a dentist with bad breath) I go to Disneyland-my happy place. It really calms me to go there in my head, be surrounded by happy memories with my family and friends and all things Disney.